Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
