Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
