billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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