I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
