Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
