It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
