She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
