My first STD was from a foam party
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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