Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
