Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
