The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
