Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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