I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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