Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
