her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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