I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
