The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
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There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
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I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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