I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
