Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
