Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
