There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
