Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
