Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
