All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dick very happy bro
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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