I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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