I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
being pregnant is like rehab
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
