While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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