and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
