Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
