Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize