come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
True strength comes from lack of pants
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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