Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
