awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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