I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
