i think i have herpe
just one?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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