I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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