mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
