Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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