I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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