you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
