dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
