WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
