I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
