it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
