So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
