i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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