The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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