drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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