Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
