and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
