Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
