The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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