Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
