About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
