North Korea, Best Korea!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He kissed a someone with a penis
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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