4 words: hood of his car
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
