sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
