i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
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I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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