We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize