Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We left the knife in your bed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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