Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
