Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
