K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
