Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
