dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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