I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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