I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
