So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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