stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
being pregnant is like rehab
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
